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I was going to write about something else today -- I have a couple of big-concept posts I've been meaning to write up and get around to -- but, heck, the last post I put up was a big-concept post so I figured let's have a quick breather from that and get something a little lighter up first. I've been all too guilty of this myself -- sending super-long messages.

This topic came up as I got to an email from a reader. And what I found was that I was often disappointed -- I'd put all this time and effort into a monster of a message, and then... There are a bunch of lessons I eventually took away from those experiences that I'll share with you today.

The problem is you are creating an artificial perception of what the person you are texting with is like.

You are both building an idealised fantasy of an ideal person in your mind.

When a guy texts you a lot before you meet, it is not always a bad thing if the lady’s strategy is to play it cool.

It is far too easy to feel good about having someone to flirt with on your phone or computer.

Because you are hiding behind the anonymity of your phone, you will tend to be more candid about yourself and ask more in-depth questions. Signs of this happening include wishing the other person good morning or good night, or asking how that day is going.

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First contact is usually through the online dating sites messaging system.

I should point out here that there are other mobile chat apps out there that do not require the swapping of phone numbers.

Probably the best out there is Kik messenger which allows you to use it simply by setting up an anonymous account.

Once the move has been made on to direct phone messaging, it usually goes something like this.

There will be several messages per day, including one or more in-depth multi-message conversations.

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