Im dating a black girl
The cultural differences also make it complicated to address certain issues.
They too are far from perfect and being with a white person has not changed how I’m seen.
I owe it to myself to stay optimistic in spite of all of the disappointing dates that I have been on and all of the research and data that is so focused on how hard it is for Black women to find love. Subscribe to FLARE Need to Know for smart, sassy, no-filter takes on everything you're interested in—including style, culture & current events, plus special offers—sent straight to your inbox each day.
Ella explains why white people can date black people, but can’t JUST date black people. I was one of the few black people in my primary school, my secondary schools and college.
This was just one of the sobering experiences that made me realize that as a Black woman, Tinder had all the same issues I face walking through the world, just on a smaller screen.
After editing her photos to make her skin white, while leaving all of her features and profile details intact, she concluded that online dating is skin deep.
“My features were not the problem,” she wrote, “rather, it was the colour of my skin.”With that in mind, I’m ashamed to admit it, but to some degree I tailored my Tinder persona to fit into the mould of eurocentric beauty standards in order to optimize my matches. But from growing up in a predominantly white area and having my hair, skin and culture under constant scrutiny, I knew that not everyone would.
I had grown accustomed to the ease of being boo’d up; the routine and rhythm that comes with knowing someone so well.
Naturally, being on a date with a complete stranger, like the one I was waiting for at that downtown restaurant, was an adjustment.