10 rules for dating my daughter joke

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If you are experiencing some of the above warning signs, do not panic.

Follow the advice contained in this book and remain focused on your goal, which is to get the teenagers moved out of the house before they breed and the whole cycle begins again.

He's been through braces (the most expensive metal on earth), kissing (do they have to use their lips?

), teen "logic" ("I asked if I could go out with Lindsey and you said no, so I went out with Courtney"), and, of course, dating, which leads to the 8 Simple Rules.

(My wife ignores my instructions and actually spends money trying to satisfy these adolescent appetites, which is a bit like trying to warm a winter day by turning up the heat and opening your windows.) Anyway, the world is positively teeming with teenagers, and as long as people continue to think about starting a family, the trend is likely to continue. I am only willing to accept the blame for the ones that my wife caused and have taken educational measures with her to make sure it doesn't happen again.

But if I am, indeed, surviving the experience, perhaps I can share with you some of the knowledge I have so painfully gained over what has been more than half a decade of tears, hormones, and stress fractures.

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I've never heard such nonsense in my life.) Remember, you can get through this.

Not only is this completely ridiculous, but if you allow your parents to express this thesis, they will become obsessed with the idea, and that's all you'll hear for the next decade.) I Need You, Leave Me Alone When children are young, dads regard themselves as giant shock absorbers, there to protect the family from the ruts and bumps on the road of life. You begin to see yourself as more like a coach, running your children through practice drills so they'll be better prepared when they have to go out and play the real game.

Life's a contact sport, dads will argue, so a few non-fatal bruises along the way merely toughens the body and steels the soul.

Your parents did, which is why they always start laughing when you call to explain to them how impossible it is to live with teenage daughters.

(If, as they are choking through their hilarity at your expense, they claim that your child's behavior sounds "just like you at that age," hang up immediately.

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